I knew it was going to be hard but I never thought it would be THAT hard.
After a lot of excuses, I decided to stop the BF. Alessandra is getting too big and even though we both enjoyed the bonding and closeness that it brought to us, it was time.
I was waiting for Alessandra to lose interest or waiting for supply to diminish but neither one of those ever happened. Like Julianna always says, "mama" is like Alessandra's candy... even if Alessandra was very cranky or in pain, everything would be okay if she had some "mama".
The first day without BF was on 01-04-10. The night time was very hard and she really did not understand what was going on. I bought Yakult and strawberry milk but nothing would substitute the complete package that "mama" gives.
Today is the 4th day and everything is going better. She is getting easier to distract and I am not as sore as I was for the past few days. But I've been feeling sad... I can’t believe that this is it. My last baby and my last chance to BF. Some of my friends tell me that they did not enjoy it too much, that it was painful, boring... but not me. For me, it was the most natural, bonding and magical thing I ever experienced. My strongest memory will be of that little person looking at me like a little calf ( Yes... I know..am the cow) and the feeling that in that moment I could protect her from anything and everything and nothing could hurt her.
Alessandra, I love you and I will miss our BF moments terribly.
